-----What Bharatnatyam taught me ------

I remember in 7th standard - Jaswandi tai sitting in our living room and trying to convince me to continue with my Bharatnatyam dance class. I had decided at that time that I couldn't continue with my dance class. It was stressful, my legs used to pain and it used to take up my study time.

Jaswandi tai was someone I used to lookup to in dance class and wanted to do the final dance - the "arangetram" like her.

But the sense of giving up was so strong- I stopped going to dance class after 5 years of rigorous training which I had started in 2nd standard.

CUT To Age 26!!

I was going through an extremely rough phase in my life. I joined dance class again. Even though I was adamant in my childhood to leave the class there was feeling of incompleteness inside.

I joined again only for my mental health.

But with Teju tai cha over looking discipline and Grishma tai cha beautiful singing and guidance I got drawn again into the mesmerizing world of Bharatnatyam.

It is not just dance it is a lifestyle. 

First thing I learned which helped me a lot was It is never too late to start anything. I started again as a beginner in 2nd year with the tiny beautiful dancers and performed on stage too with them. I felt I was like them - having a new life - learning everything from scratch after my episode of depression and anxiety. Learnt how to live once again.

Slowly taking crash courses I jumped to next levels. I went to Bulgaria to perform in a dance festival. Travelling with the troupe made me feel included. It gave me a sense of belonging to something larger than me.

Always grateful to the "have to do" if  it is "supposed to be done" attitude. Making us follow choreography which I thought looked impossible Teju tai really tested our endurance. But everything looks impossible unless it is actually done

Bharatnatyam teaches a lot about different emotions. This time also when I joined I actually learnt Bharatnatyam and not just did it as one more class to attend. I really tried to understand what I was learning. Dancing as a "gopi" from the era of Krishna made me feel good about myself boosting my self esteem. It was difficult to completely become the gopi who was so proud of her  beauty that she herself says that she has eyes like that of a lotus!!

येतो हस्त स्तथो दृष्टी, येतो दृष्टी स्तथो मनः !!!

Where your hand is, your eyes are and where your eyes are your mind is there!!

The body mind connection helped me a lot. Bharatnatyam helped me connect with my inner emotions and express them beautifully, and how extremely beautiful it felt.

Finally my dream of wearing the Bharatnatyam saree and the amazing jewellery came true and performed in front of all my family and friends. Later sitting with my atyas, taking out pins from my hair it didnt feel like a great achievement. It just felt that something, a child had grown inside me !

Ta Ka Dhi Mi