Dolce far niente

                                                       LONG BLOG ALERT !!!

It is 1:43 a.m and I am filled with immense energy and creativity. I just came home at 12 a.m from an amazing night filled with music and great vibe. I had hosted a gathering where there were 2 singers and composers and a poet. Manuka with her honesty felt very relatable. Bhupendra had amazingly powerful poetry to share on feminism, religion and looking at oneself. Mayur's song stirred crazy emotions and Sunder with his violin mesmerized everyone. So why will I not have the urge to create something after being in company of such vibrant people?

That day Satish mama had come for lunch and he casually asked me like everyone generally asks, "So Rucha What are you doing these days ?". I replied with a equally casual, "Nothing."

Then we just had lunch and debated on politics ( which I am really bad at ).

So what is there to write. I have not been working since the past 1 and half month, neither public health or mental health.................. So the title of this blog (Sweetness of doing nothing).

After coming back from Gadhchiroli I was filled with mixed emotions but seeing the common man statue near my house made me feel at home. I had been given leave for the purpose of taking psychotherapy and taking care of my mental health ( Yes they actually did that ). So what would I do in this leave. Oh my God I had made so many plans . I was going to do those things which I always wanted to do. Finally I had time after 5 and half years of MBBS then 3 years of entrance exams and 3 years of post graduation followed by 6 months of working in Gadhchiroli. I had got my much needed break.

Honestly I really really wanted to work on my mental health ( which I did ) and on my physical health (which I did not ). LOL. I learnt Yoga though not being consistent with it. But my psychiatrist has taken promise from me that I will go for a walk everyday for 1 month and I will I promise you guys too. Yoga was very refreshing. All the clogs in the brain used to get cleared up and I used to have the perfect mornings whenever I used to do Yoga. Thus I realized how mind and body is connected.

Coming to Mumbai means meeting my friends. Walking on Juhu beach I felt so one with the wind and so free and happy to be home. I shouted in glee. Then Sneha exclaimed,"This is what I was talking about when you first went to Gadhchiroli." What an idiot!! And in parle I can behave as if I am at home. I can literally walk in my pyjamas. It is home.

I got the chance to show off my ukulele playing skills to Nitish and Saumya. They were sweet to spend 2 days with me to welcome me from Gadhchiroli.

Children have so much to give. Playing with my friend Tanvi's kiddo made me realize how happy he made me. Motherly instincts were surfacing. There is time for that I console myself.I was slowly getting healed.

While being in Gadhchiroli I didn't realize that I was doing something great. I was just exploring and learning. But when suddenly my school principle (current) Sadhana Sahasrabuddhe teacher (a.k.a Sabu ) asked me to have a conversation with her over lunch I was kinda proud of myself. Suddenly people wanted me to talk about it everywhere. wow! And I gave a small talk in my department at Nair hospital. It was beautiful.

Main thing remains - psychotherapy !! I was refferred to a aaji. She must be the oldest and the topmost counselor in Mumbai. But more than her I had a great time connecting with Uday mama who was trying to teach me how to control our emotions instead of trying to change other people. Still learning !
One of the perks of being in Mumbai is that you get to attend amazing conferences. One which I attended was of narrative practices called Weaving our voices. I never had met so many mental health professionals ( majorly females ) in one place.There were workshops there which made me wonder if the children's books are for them or adults. Such deep philosophy. Another perk is of visiting KEM followed by the Kala Ghoda festival. I was all over the place. I even went and gave some piece of advice for municipality school kids. Such brats I tell you but so intelligent.

While chasing our dreams we forget about those who build us. Baba's health was not in a good condition. This break was a chance for me to be with him. I hope I am doing it right. Baba reminds me of Bapu. I am reading the book - The Mind of Mahatma Gandhi. It is the best kind of therapy I can get. I also saw a play on him at NCPA. It was a lovely atmosphere but I was preoccupied but being with Indira who sat with me on roadside and heard me out helped me a lot. I am loving the art of learning from people rather than from books. Must be a phase !

I am always torn between the idea of working rural area and having a urban lifestyle. These doubts were cleared by Taru and her husband Dharav who have done exceptional work in gynaecology and psychiatry respectively in rural areas.

This vacation has to end someday right so I had applied to Cooper for a post. To check my application status I had to go to Nair. Going to Nair is incomplete without meeting Shenoy Maam. She seems strict but she can have the most wonderful conversations and we have Aba as our common person so we have a lot to talk about.

Like today I had previously attended the same gathering at Nishant and Shashwat's place. Now they have become my new found friends. Shashwat makes me listen to old Kishore Kumar songs while Nishant makes me dance on Kala chashma!!

Meeting all these people and talking to them helped a lot. But what helped more was when I once found myself waiting at bandstand alone for a date. That day I met myself.

Wedding shenanigans were on!! Of Rahul my cousin and his wonderful wife Pooja. As far as my wedding is concerned I am still looking for my John Galt!

So all this I did while I was doing nothing. I feel fresh rejuvenated and ready to take on the next challenges in life. I am happy I got this break and I could do nothing.

*Work hard do good 1 life to live*
*Hard to think what they care with no effs to give*
Ref : @mostlysane (Prajakta Koli)