Happiness rocks!
Look at my photo.How contented breezy and free and happy I look.For the past 2 years I have been longing to be like this.And believe me I thought I was stuck and never thought I would come out of my depressive phase. Depression does that to you.Your mind is in complete darkness.Future is not seen.You are hollow and empty and nothing around you interests you anymore.
How is it that a girl who was so happy go lucky and who did not know the meaning of stress and tension go into depression.But we need to understand that our emotions are based on the levels of neurohormones or neurotransmitters in brain.At times we can control them but many times in serious situations like a death of a loved one or a heartbreak or failing in exams for a student these neurotransmitter levels go down, which we cannot control.So anyone can go through depression.
This year's theme is Depression : Let's talk.Talking is an expression of our mind, giving a form to those thoughts.2 years back I was working in the paediatric department for experience.Lot of events used to happen along with treating the patients.But I used to keep quiet. I was afraid of talking to people. So I used to bottle up all my emotions and thoughts and carry on with my duties.It affected me a lot and also my work.It was very difficult for me to get a good nights sleep.Then Ashwini said she is going to join the same hospital in the gynaecology department.There are some people in life who just make u feel so comfortable and at home that you can tell them any nonsense and they will not judge you.Ashwini is one of my many such best friends.So I instantly became happy she was coming.The day when both of us were doing night duty and we were having dinner together, I talked and I talked.It felt like finding an oasis in the centre of a desert.That night I slept like a child.It was so beautiful and refreshing.(Ofcourse there were no patients that night so).It was as if some weight was lifted off my mind.
So thought for today.Talk!Let it all out.Whenever you feel something about someone tell it , then and there.Don't keep the baggage weighing you down.
Why me?Everybody asks this question.I also asked.I was prepared for any kind of disease or disorder....let it be diabetes, epilepsy or even cancer.But mental illness...No Never! So one day Mitali told me to watch Deepika Paukone's interview with Burkha Dutt.Mitali was 1 of the many friends from whom I was taking help.She used to remind me to take my tablets,motivate me to do art projects, to do exercise, to write and to talk.So I watched the interview.If such a succesful actor could go through depression , fight it and come out of it, so was it really impossible for me ?So then I changed the question to How? How to come out of it?It was going to be a long and difficult process but it had started.
I was impatient.I wanted that happiness now.My doctor suggested I see a counsellor.Words heal....but only the right kind of words.Hence the proffessional help.One important thing which I remember that my counsellor told me was.Change is happening, transformation is taking place ....you are going to get better but not all of a sudden.It is like the growing of nails.You know they are growing but you cannot see it.They don't grow overnight.So I started believing in her and continued working on myself.So patience is the thing.You can't just tell a depressed person to shake it off and become happy again.It's a process, a beautiful process of understanding one's mind.Life happens!
Everybody is unique and has their own path to follow.Do not compare yourself with anyone just enjoy the process.Embrace life as it comes.Take 1 day at a time.Love oneself unconditionally.Life is beautiful!
Yo!
ReplyDeleteWell penned.
ReplyDeleteWowie!!! Self disclosure too is therapeutic
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